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The Ice Pirates


“See a Totally Spaced Adventure!” Not everyone wanted to take Star Wars seriously – certainly not the makers of The Ice Pirates, a bizarre, low-budget, pre-Spaceballs sci-fi spoof packed with space swashbucklers, a princess in distress, goofy robots, pew-pew lasers, lowbrow humor, and oh yeah, an alien creature called a “Space Herpe!”
It’s a parched future, and water, the galaxy’s only valuable commodity, is controlled by the evil Templars. Their only foes: a handful of daring Ice Pirates, who steal water from the Templars to satisfy the thirst of a dehydrated galaxy. Cue the cut-rate special effects, bicep-rippling swashbuckling, the search for a princess’ missing father and a lost planet awash in sweet H20. The manic, time-warping finale is just ice-ing on the intergalactic cake. Blasting off into hyperspace with a sense of humor designed for (and possibly by) twelve-year-olds, this psychotically charming adventure spoofs and pillages from every sci-fi blockbuster of the past ten years, in the process assembling one of the strangest ensemble casts in history, including ’80 TV star Robert Urich (Vegas), Ron Perlman (Hellboy), John Matuzak (“Sloth” in The Goonies), genre legend John Carradine as the “Supreme Commander,” Hollywood Squares-vet Bruce Vilanch as a disembodied head, and Oscar-winner Angelica Huston as a leather-clad space pirate in stiletto heels. The Force will definitely be with you … sort of. (Dir. by Stewart Raffill,1984, USA, 91 mins., Rated PG)

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